


The Darkness That Lies Within Me

by Janie94



Series: Sea of Emotions [1]
Category: British Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore, Real Person Fiction, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Frostpudding, Hiddlesfrost, M/M, Tomki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 09:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1464814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janie94/pseuds/Janie94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It feels like the sun, but it is far more beautiful. I’m blinded by the smile that spreads on that creature’s face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Darkness That Lies Within Me

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from. It was a boring day at work and then this popped into my head and since I like it, I decided to post it. This is my first one-shot, so please have mercy with me.  
> This is written from Loki's POV, the next one might be Tom's (I'm not sure yet).
> 
> \---------------

**The Darkness That Lies Within Me**

  
I’m frozen for all eternity, a cold statue lost in the shadows of my mind. Time passes, but it has no meaning to me, all I can feel is coolness and pain. The only thing that’s keeping me alive is the warmth of that special light.  
  
It feels like the sun, but it is far more beautiful. I’m blinded by the smile that spreads on that creature’s face. It’s all I can see and it hurts, because it makes me feel again, it melts this heart of ice to a sea of emotions that seems so similar to the only thing which manages to pierce through the light of that smile:  
  
Eyes of a color that is intended to resemble blue, but is beyond any color spectrum I know. There are hints of green and gray in it, almost invisible in comparison the cinnamon spots I can see because of the proximity of our faces.  
  
There is a moment of surprise, then all I can see in them is love and it _burns_ me. The flames surround my heart and while I always jerked away before since I was afraid to get hurt, I allow myself to drown in them this time and it is so much different than what I imagined:   
Their tongues lick over my wounds, soothe them, heal them.  
  
I allow slender arms to pull me in and there is more warmth. I take a deep breath and my nose is filled with the scent of the late fall laced by a cool melancholy that reminds me of the winter in my heart.  
  
I wonder what this creature sees in me. Why it is trying to save me? Because we both know I am not worth it, I don’t deserve to be saved.  
  
I try to push it away, but then it looks at me and I drown in those love-filled eyes again. My body goes still and I find myself wondering if this is some sort of magic until the man brings our lips together and I know the answer:  
Yes, it is indeed magic, because I feel whole again and that is impossible. I was broken, nothing left but shattered pieces, too damaged to ever be repaired, so what is happening to me right now?  
  
I feel safe in those warm arms, I can sense the strength of the man’s feelings through the touch of our lips, but I do not feel violated, quite the contrary. I feel more powerful than I ever did in my entire life.  
  
It is only then that I open my mouth and deepen the kiss, a reward to the man for making me feel loved. I don’t ever want it to end but I shove that thought away and revel in the sensation of our tongues sliding into each other’s mouth dancing and twirling for dominance. The passion consumes me and I allow it, because I want this moment to last even if I know it won’t.  
  
This angel will turn away from me very soon when it sees me for what I really am: Lies, darkness and chaos. There is nothing in me one could come to love and I know it, because I don’t even love myself. So how could someone else?  
  
It is my last conscious thought before I use my seiðr to put the man to sleep and when he goes limb in my arms, there finally is enough space between us that I am able to look at his face for the first time.  
  
And I take a step back in shock when it is my own, just altered to the point that he looks the exact opposite of me; kind, innocent, good.  
I don’t want to know what this means, so I vanish and reappear in my own room in Asgard’s palace, but it is the first time that I wonder whether our meeting, our desire for each other is destiny or fate.  
  
But either way I’m doomed, because never - not with all my tricks and intelligence - could I escape the path that has been predetermined to me by the Norns. The only important puzzle for me to solve is what that man’s role in their game is and what he did to deserve this.  
  
Because ultimately his light will until it is swallowed by the darkness in my heart and how could an angel deserve such a cruel judgment?

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment or leave kudos if you liked it, that would make my day. :)


End file.
